Fantasy - I should have not been stopped out of a trade today by 1 tick.
Reality - Stopped out by 1 tick.
Do I embrace fantasy (woulda, coulda, shoulda) or reality?
Every action I take I am only concerned with Reality (NOW) not Fantasy (could have been).
When you embrace the NOW and disregard COULD HAVE BEEN you act based on reality. When you embrace FANTASY over REALITY the monkey starts driving the bus. You are not a monkey. Do not give the monkey permission to drive the bus!
So the REALITY today is:
First trade - stopped out at break even. No one cares. Least of all the market.
Second trade - got right back in because premise was solid. And I willing accepted the risk that this could also be a loser.
You are enough. Stay in the NOW.
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1411.5 responsive sellers
1404.75 responsive sellers ON
1400-01 acceptance ON
1389.25-1391.25 responsive buyers
1382.50 responsive buyers
Premise is that if we hold above 1387-89 then we will test 1403. If we hold below 1387-89 then we will test 1383.
6:30a - ES open at 1394. OS high 1394.75. OS low 1393. OAIR.
7:55a – ES short 1394.5. Stop 1396. -1.5/-1.5
Trade was to test if IB would hold. IB failed marking neutral day.
9:38a – ES short 1398. Stop 1399.5. Target 1395. +3
Trade was to test main premise. Half sized to reflect indecisive action on a neutral day. Lot of congestion in the 1394 zone.
"Fear seems to have many causes. Fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and so on, but ultimately all fear is the ego's fear of death, of annihilation. To the ego, death is always just around the corner. In this mind-identified state, fear of death affects every aspect of your life. For example, even such a seemingly trivial and "normal" thing as the compulsive need to be right in an argument and make the other person wrong - defending the mental position with which you have identified - is due to the fear of death. If you identify with a mental position, then if you are wrong, your mind-based sense of self is seriously threatened with annihilation. So you as the ego cannot afford to be wrong. To be wrong is to die. Wars have been fought over this, and countless relationships have broken down.
Once you have disidentified from your mind, whether you are right or wrong makes no difference to your sense of self at all, so the forcefully compulsive and deeply unconscious need to be right, which is a form of violence, will no longer be there.
You can state clearly and firmly how you feel or what you think, but there will be no aggressiveness or defensiveness about it. Your sense of self is then derived from a deeper and truer place within yourself, not from the mind. Watch out for any kind of defensiveness within yourself. What are you defending? An illusory identity, an image in your mind, a fictitious entity. By making this pattern conscious, by witnessing it, you disidentify from it. In the light of your consciousness, the unconscious pattern will then quickly dissolve. This is the end of all arguments and powergames, which are so corrosive to relationships. Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within, and it is available to you now.
...Is there something that you "should" be doing but are not doing it? Get up and do it now. Alternatively, completely accept your inactivity, laziness, or passivity at this moment, if that is your choice. Go into it fully. Enjoy it. Be as lazy or inactive as you can. If you go into it fully and consciously, you will soon come out of it. Or maybe you won't. Either way, there is no inner conflict, no resistance, no negativity.
Stress is caused by being "here" but wanting to be "there," or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. It's a split that tears you apart inside. To create and live with such an inner split is insane. The fact that everyone else is doing it doesn't make it any less insane. If you have to, you can move fast, work fast, or even run, without projecting yourself into the future and without resisting the present. As you move, work, run - do it totally. Enjoy the flow of energy, the high energy of that moment. Now you are no longer stressed, no longer splitting yourself in two. Just moving, running, working - and enjoying it. Or you can drop the whole thing and sit on a park bench. But when you do, watch your mind. It may say: "You should be working. You are wasting time." Observe the mind. Smile at it."
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The following is a story attributed to the Zen Master Hakuin Ekaku:
A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near Hakuin. One day, without any warning, her parents discovered she was pregnant. This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Hakuin.
In great anger the parents went to the master. "Is that so?" was all he would say.
After the child was born it was brought to Hakuin. By this time he had lost his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child. He obtained milk from his neighbors and everything else the child needed.
A year later the girl could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth - the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fish market.
The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back.
Hakuin willingly yielded the child, saying only: "Is that so?"
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